STOP child sexual abuse!!

So much abuse starts in the home. And it always seems to be the ones closest to you. The one that is supposed to love and protect you. Mines started when I was as young as 5 years old. I was molested and raped by my biological father until I was about 8 or 9 years old. I was also raped by a couple of my mom's boyfriends during my early teen years. I remember the days I would cry out and beg my mom not to let my dad take me to school because I knew what he was going to do. He had this big box black and gray/silver van that had a bed in the back of it. And before he would take me to school, he would take me to the park and do things to me that a 5-year-old should not be exposed to. I remember one day he asked me to taste it, it taste like a lollipop. I remember going to school and feeling very shameful and nasty. I remember being withdrawn in class from the other kids because I always felt I didn't fit in with them and that I was different. That social awkwardness became my norm. I remember my dad would tell me that if I ever told anyone that he will kill me and my mom and I believed him. I watched him beat my mom almost every day so I was very afraid of him. These traumatic memories have been buried for most of my life. I distanced myself from my family and I suffered in silence for more than 30 years up until now. I choose to speak out and reveal my story because the more I talk about it, the more I heal. One day I was sitting in my grandmother's back room in the house and I felt this overwhelming feeling. I now know that it was Holy Spirit but then I didn't know what it was. I just felt this strength and encouragement to go and tell somebody what he was doing to me. My aunt was at home and I took her to the bathroom and told her everything. I was soo scared because I didn't know what was going to happen to us after that. My aunt went to tell my grandmother and all hell broke loose after that. I don't know who called the police but they went to get him. He was at work not too far away from my grandmother's house and that day I was freed from that torture. The posted pic is a copy of the police report. I've been silent about the abuse from my dad and others along the way because It felt easier for me to bury the memories and, let it go and just move on with my life. And I tried to do that but remnants of my past still creeped up and out. When I think about my daughters who are right in the line of fire when they are around certain family members who are still sick and haven't gotten the help they need and they prey on them. My daughter recently revealed to me that my cousin tried to molest her. And it was brought to my attention that my lil cousin was getting molested by her father who is my cousin. It was also revealed to me that the children of these same cousins are having sex with each other. It dawned on me and I realized that God allowed me to go thru the sexual abuse so that I would be able to relate and to be sensitive to what's going on around me and also for me to be a voice for others to STOP the generational curse of incest and sexual abuse in our bloodline. The curse STOPPED with us. My childhood sexual abuse even tried to affect my marriage and my relationship with my husband. Because I hadn't properly dealt with the trauma from my past childhood sexual abuse before getting married, it took me a loonnnggg time, I'm talking years before I could consider trusting my husband around my kids. It was hard for me to leave them at home with him alone. My husband Is very affectionate and I would often think he was being too touchy-feely, huggy with them. I wouldn't allow them to be in the same room for too long before I came in to "see" what they were doing or talking about. My father would play little games with me and my sisters called sandwich, like where he was the bread and I was the meat and my sisters would be on top of me so he can hump me and I was clueless as to what he was really trying to do until I was being victimized. So, I use to have "the talk" with them about... if ANY one touches you inappropriately, no matter WHO they are.. you better tell me, all the time until they just thought I was being weird but I couldn't help it. I wanted to make sure they knew the signs. It's just I had been traumatized because I was taken advantage of by someone I thought I could trust and whom I thought loved me. So I had been overly protective over my children. I vowed no one would NEVER hurt my children the way I was hurt. But as long as we've known my husband, he has never touched or given me the impression he would try to molest any of my kids. Now, it is my life's mission and my purpose/calling to share my story thru a memoir in an effort to stop the silence in homes. My goal is to bring awareness on how to recognize the signs of a predator and ultimately break the curse from traveling down the bloodline into the next generation. I will continue to SPEAK UP AND TELL SOMEBODY and spread awareness as much as I can through as many platforms I can use. It took me decades to find the strength to be a vessel to fight this and you can too. #tellsomebody Child molesters, please stop and seek therapy. Parents, talk with and BELIEVE your children. Survivors, seek therapy.

#TellSomebody #GenerationalCurseBreaker #inlinewiththe9 #9fruit #stopthesilence #healingjourney #healingtrauma #healing #childhoodtrauma #childhoodsexualabuse #survivor